Single Dad Terry Jones is a father of 2, comedian, musician, and actor. Terry has been featured on Fuze, Forbes Magazine, Spotify Music Charts, iTunes Comedy Charts, etc. Here is Terry’s fatherhood story and his thoughts on positivity as a single father.
Single Dad Terry Jones
How did you become a single father?
I have two daughters, in kindergarten age 5, and 2nd grade age 7. Their Mother and I part ways, and we had 50/50 custody. She moved out of state, and we agreed that the girls would have more comfort and help here. All their friends and my family live here. We started rocky but developed a positive co-parenting relationship. I always make sure to stay positive and speak positively of their Mother. My views and feelings are not more important than theirs.
What’s one word to describe single Black fathers?
Superheroes
Why is it important to share positive stories about single Black fathers?
There is a stigma that creates more anger and hatred towards Black men. Sharing their positive stories shows hope and positivity. It may not be easy. However, people need to see we love just as hard as anyone. Black fathers have a special energy about them.
What misconceptions do people have about single fathers?
That we can’t get things done, that we can’t make it, that we are weak, that we are emotional enough to live and care as much as a Mother. It’s not true. We love our children as much too. If I can’t do their hair, I find someone who can. I can pick out good outfits, too. LOL
What is the hardest part about being a single father? What is the best?
The hardest is trying to push as a man and show leadership, patience, and strength while secretly losing your mind.
The Best? All of it. The love, care, and knowing I am doing a great job.
Why is it important for single fathers to be active in the lives of their children? In your answer, you can share some ways you spend quality time with your child and the lessons children learn from their fathers.
It’s important because children need fathers. So many adults I interact with who didn’t have a father around are very affected by it. It’s different from people I know who didn’t have their moms, but fathers bring a certain energy and power that is very underappreciated. One day my daughters will grow up and see that their dad fought tooth and nail for them to be spoiled and live in a safe environment.
Share a few things you enjoy doing with your daughters.
I always try to get my kids cool memories from celebrities I know to making history together, to just going to the playground and cooking and baking together. We do a ton of things.
What advice would you give a single mother to help her heal from a bad breakup and have a positive co-parenting relationship with her ex?
So many factors. The truth is we all have different reasons for our breakups and divorces. The central reasoning is always ego. Getting to the root causes helps with healing and focusing the love of our children for our healing. If someone can’t love me like my children do, it’s not love.
The idea of God is that God loves us in a way that is unconditional no matter what we do. Children are similar to God in that same way. They love us no matter how small, big, rich, or poor we are. If that person didn’t love you like that, the breakup might hurt, but it will help you understand you deserve more. Let your children heal you in the hardest times, and let them motivate your spirit. Keep the faith and know life gets even better. You deserve to live the best of your life for the rest of your life.
As for co-parenting, if the father wants time with his children. Please give him time, and have patience because a woman’s guidance and help are needed a lot. How you feel about each other shouldn’t matter, the children hear everything even when you think they don’t. Be positive and say nice things. Never let your emotions get to you. If it’s not about the children, then it doesn’t matter. Also, new relationships can cause conflict sometimes. Always put the children first and try to handle all issues with maturity.
What advice do you give other single dads?
Hang strong, kings. You’re doing a great job. I’m here to say it if you have not heard it from anyone. Single Fatherhood is not for the faint of heart. Your strength is why God chose you as the king leading your children to a wonderful life.
What do you do/enjoy for self-care?
Honestly, I don’t do enough. I work out a lot to keep my mental health and physical health good. I think this is a tough thing for single parents. it’s important and something I am working on. For now, fitness is key, and my work in entertainment reminds me I’m something other than just a Father.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
God bless all the Kings that share the throne with their children. With them around, you’re never really alone.
All thoughts and words shared are that of Single Dad Terry Jones. Read the first story in the Single Dad Defined series and stay tuned for more Single Dad stories where we work to combat negative narratives about single parenting and aim to mend relationships between co-parents.
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