Single Dad John Wilson is a dad of three adult children, a life coach, and a sports coach of multiple youth sports, from baseball to football to softball. John spends volunteering with sports organizations and in his day-to-day, works as an independent contractor with a trade-in barbering.
Meet Single Dad John Wilson
How did you become a single father?
I became a father by stepping up and taking care of the responsibilities handed to me when I decided to be young and have a child. I have three children who are now in their 20s. Dallas is 28, Alasia is 23, and Eli is 20. Eli is still at home and attending college. I shared custody with their mom. We have a fantastic co-parenting relationship. It’s very important for the kids. My oldest son has a different mom and was raised in her custody.
Have you been stereotyped?
I have been more than stereotyped. Dads sometimes do not get the benefit of the doubt. My dad raised me, so I wouldn’t have it any other way. Critics always were a motivation for a man like me.
What’s one word to describe single Black fathers?
Abandoned
Why is it important to share positive stories about single Black fathers?
To do away with the stereotype. To shine a light on those who silence the critics and naysayers. Nothing better than actual visual proof. The eyes don’t lie.
What misconceptions do people have about single fathers?
That single dads aren’t enough. There is a lot that dads do that goes unnoticed and unadvertised.
What is the hardest part about being a single father? What is the best?
The hardest thing about it is not receiving the benefits that are available to mothers. The best part is being there and participating in the growth and life of a human being. That’s priceless.
Why is it important for single fathers to be active in the lives of their children? In your answer, you can share some ways you spend quality time with your child and the lessons children learn from their fathers.
Discipline is very important. In my parenting, I learned that holding my children accountable and giving them consequences for their actions prepared them for how life and the world are. There is nothing more important than quality time. You can not know your child or vice versa without it. It builds a bond, creates memories, and, most importantly, creates love.
What are some of the activities/things you enjoy doing with your child/children?
Traveling, amusement parks, and live entertainment. Just anything they enjoy that keeps them occupied and loving it simultaneously.
What advice would you give a single mother to help her heal from a bad breakup and have a positive co-parenting relationship with her ex?
Know that sometimes people outgrow one another, only some situations are meant to be stuck with, and sometimes you must move forward to get somewhere. No matter how much bad blood is between the parents, there is always a way to be there for your child. Find a mediator if you need one for the situation. A toxic, unhealthy parenting relationship only affects one person–the child. The child was made out of care, so remember that.
What advice do you give other single dads?
Be a dad. Step up. Do everything in your power to be in the child’s life. Know your rights and stand up for them. Seek legal help if you need it.
What do you do for self-care? Why is self-care important? How has self-care helped you as a person or a single father?
For self-care, I get reflexology, and I also like to meditate.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
Dads are important. The world needs to showcase good fathers more to influence more men.
All thoughts and words shared are that of Single Dad John Wilson. Read more of our Single Dad Defined series and stay tuned for more Single Dad stories where we work to combat negative narratives about single parenting and aim to mend relationships between co-parents.
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