Pre-pregnancy, I felt connected to God. I could feel His spirit move through the room, softly whispering into my ear and pressing upon my heart. While living on the beach in the Cayman Islands, I tuned out the noise of the world and focused on my personal relationship with God. I prayed more. I went to church more. I studied the scriptures more. This is a picture of me basking in God’s glory on the beach.

So what happened? Life happened. I switched careers. I changed zip codes. I transitioned roles. At first, I felt like God wasn’t by my side. I didn’t think He left. I just didn’t think I was high up on His priority list. I mean, why should He care that I got dumped over the phone in my second trimester? Why would He wipe my tears when my daughter’s dad married someone else the weekend of her first birthday? There are much bigger and more troubling things occurring around the world, like hunger, homelessness and genocide. But He did care. He knew every hair on my head and saw every move I made. Imagine, if you have more than one child, you don’t only care about the one facing a trial or tribulation. You may offer additional support, but the level of love remains the same. You’re a constant force in the troubled child’s life. They just might not see you past their present pain. But you’re right there. Wiping tears. Picking up the pieces. And moving mountains.

So, if you feel disconnected to God now that your a single mom, simply apply these tips to strengthen your spirituality.

1. Trust Him

Eight years ago, I was consumed with my breakup with my daughter’s dad. Every conversation was filled with my ex’s name. I wondered what he was doing, who he was doing it with and why he did the things he did. But eventually, I moved from heartache to healing. And trusted God to transform my burden into a blessing. That blessing was right before me. I had a beautiful little girl who inspired me to create blogs and businesses. But to get to this place of peace–and it was an ongoing journey n the beginning, I had to trust in God. I had to trust that He wants only the best for his children. I had to trust that He, not a child support check, was my source. He would provide comfort and security. And when I worry about what the future holds, I remind myself that God already mapped out the trip and my final destination. I just have to surrender control, and let Jesus take the wheel.

2. Spend Time With Him

You don’t need to schedule an entire day, or even an hour, to spend time with God. Start by setting aside a few minutes. You’ll quickly desire more minutes, hours, days, heck even decades with Him. For me, I wake up and meditate. I downloaded the Abide Christian meditation app, which offers daily and topical meditations that fit into our schedule. My daughter and I even fall asleep to their library of bedtime stories. Some mornings, I read the verse of the day on BibleGateway I also watch an online ministry as I get ready for work. My church streams its Sunday services, and I can find additional sermons online.  If I’m not in the mood for a sermon, I fill my spirit with music and play Pandora. I created a few gospel playlists, like Mali Music, that lift my mood with sound.

3. Walk With Him

When I lived on an island, I felt like I was living on the same street as God. I would take a walk every morning, clear my head and reflect on my purpose in life. I would watch the waves gently wash seashells onto the shore. Sometimes I jumped in. The water baptized my body. The sun and God’s countenance shined upon me. And all the while, birds chirped in the background. When I moved back to the states, everyone asked why I would ever leave the white sandy beaches behind. The noise of the city replaces the calm Cayman environment. Distractions cluttered my mind and caused stress and anxiety. But I later learned that you can create calm wherever you reside. Becoming one with nature, no matter what type of nature, helps you tune out the noise of societal stresses. Today, I take walks in the park, feed the ducks and reflect on the fact that no matter where you are, God can reside right in your heart. It is during these moments that I rediscover my purpose and spark new ideas. I learned I have to do this. Otherwise, my eye twitches due to stress or my heart tightens due to anxiety.

4. Talk to Him

I talk. A lot. Just recently, I called my sister, who placed me on speaker. After telling her what she considered to be a lengthy story, my nephew chimed in and said, Geesh, Aunt Heather, I thought that story was never going to end. They aren’t alone in their opinions about my motor mouth. My mother has admitted to putting the phone down to do something and returning to the receiver to find me still gabbing away. One person who doesn’t complain about my continuous chatter is God. I can go to Him with just about everything. At first, I was afraid to talk about the more sinful behaviors, then I realized that if He does, in fact, see everything I do, then He already knows what I did! I once felt unworthy, and He told me, He died, so I can be worthy.

I had a habit of calling my friends first when a problem struck. Now, that I’m a mom, I’ve worked on turning to God first for advice, comfort and guidance. My prayers aren’t as long as they used to be. With less energy and less sleep, I have mastered short sentences. Thank you. Bless Us. Watch Over Us. Help Me. Fill Me. Forgive Me.

Hey mamas–How are you developing your spirituality now that you are a mom? This isn’t a competition. Don’t be hard on yourself! I have to shift, seek, refine, repent and any other verb you can find. It’s not a one-day thing. God is patient. It’s a lifetime.