Tis the season! No, not that season, although Christmas decorations are popping up in stores across America. It’s cuffing season for singles! With September drafts complete, cuffing season tryouts are now occurring throughout October. Here is how to make the most out of the tryout season.
Cuffing Season Tryouts
Set a Goal
Online dating is overwhelming! And as you can see, I got a little swipe happy, sometimes returning swipes before I read profiles. I learned my lesson when someone stated they wanted a submissive woman into the BDSM lifestyle. I’m open-minded, but that’s not in my game plan, even though the offer came from a 6’5″ bald and bearded man. I wanted to take a time out, but my best friend coached me to not end the season just yet. She challenged me to reply to three people, which I did. You, too, should set a goal. Determine how many profiles you will read and how many messages you will respond to each day or week if you don’t log on to apps often. You can even set a goal around how long you want to message someone before moving to telephone conversations.
Transition from Online to In-Person Interactions
Don’t let someone say good morning to you to death! While small talk is nice in the beginning, after a few days–or weeks, it may be time to transition from the “How are you” and “What did you do over the weekend?” to “When will we meet in person.” To prevent awkward encounters, keep the first meeting short and sweet. Perhaps meet for coffee, go for ice cream, or take a walk. If you prefer a more romantic date, casual options like riding bikes, bowling, or playing golf are still possible. Lunch is also a great option–if you go during the work week, you can schedule the meeting for an hour. I advise against meeting for drinks. I’m pretty talkative when sober but become even more chatty and flirty after a few drinks. Alcohol can cause you to lower your guard or look through beer-colored glasses. You never know if the computer connection will occur face-to-face, so you may want to plan a date that’s 1-2 hours.
Invest in Paid Subscriptions
The saying, you get what you pay for, rings true regarding dating apps. Bumble’s premium subscription includes access to unlimited advanced filters and backtracks. Sometimes, I accidentally swipe left (it’s worse when you accidentally swipe right), and backtrack allows you to do just that–pull up previous profiles. As a busy mom and business owner, premium allows me to extend time on current matches and rematch with expired users. My absolute favorite is travel mode. I can meet men in other cities when traveling. I recently traveled through Detroit and Atlanta’s airports, and the notifications were sky-high! Some singles worry about the distance, but if a man is interested, he will travel to the ends of the earth to see you. I lived overseas when I met my daughter’s dad. He lived in Washington, DC. A couple of years–and countless flights later–I relocated. This summer, when my daughter stayed at her dad’s (obviously, we’re no longer together..this is a single mom site, lol), I dated guys in Philly and Baltimore. So, if you’re willing to travel to expand your dating horizons, there are lots of eligible bachelors to choose from.
Log off the Computer and Connect in Person
It’s homecoming season! Alum parties, tailgates, and football games are overflowing with eligible bachelors. And the odds are in your favor! Typically, there are more men than women at sporting events. I headed back to Michigan State, where I hung out with old friends (and old flames). I jokingly told an ex that he was the one who got away since I was more focused on becoming a TV reporter than a wife back then. He quickly replied, well, what’s up now? I’m single. (Again, this is why I advise NOT to go on dates where alcohol is involved. We weren’t on a date, but I definitely wouldn’t have had loose lips if I wasn’t three free drinks in.) Regardless of where things lead when you reunite with something–you may end up with an amazing friend. It’s a great reminder that you still got it! You don’t have to force or chase anything.
Practice Patience
Don’t cut someone off because they fail to impress you in the first few messages. Not everyone is a texter. If you see the potential, try to carry the conversation until they warm up. Last year, I met–and quickly fell in love with someone who wasn’t the most engaging person via the app. He agreed when I asked if they were better at talking on the phone. A few weeks later, we had a seven-hour conversation, something neither of us ever did. It was a magical, perhaps even supernatural connection….until it ended. But, it taught me to practice patience and be on divine timing. Relationships are like meals. You can get something super quick, like McDonald’s, or let things marinate, like your mom’s soul food Sunday dinner.
Mamas, I hope my personal tales help you take the leap into dating if you want to do that. Don’t stay on the sidelines during cuffing season tryouts. Use this time for a bit of fun and test the dating waters.
Are you ready to pregame during cuffing season tryouts? Drop a comment with your tips, and let me know if we need to set up a cuffing season group chat to share our adventures.
