I met my son’s father during my senior year in high school. It was an ‘opposites-attract’ type of relationship. The only thing we had in common at the time was our ambition. He had street smarts. I had book smarts. People couldn’t understand the attraction between us or feel the energy that radiated. He picked me up from my job for our first date in a shiny red Cadillac. I listened to him talk while staring at his battle scars and tattoos. I couldn’t keep from asking how many times he had gotten shot. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into, but I was intrigued. Intrigue led to love. He made me laugh until my stomach hurt. He was fly, fun, and invested in me and my future. We were inseparable. At that time, I never knew I would be navigating single motherhood after teenage pregnancy.
A Huge Decision
From that moment on, things escalated quickly, and we began to have many conversations about getting pregnant. So deeply in love, I’d always say, if it happened, it would just happen. We stopped using protection, so it eventually did happen. I found out I was pregnant just two weeks after my high school graduation as I planned to attend a college orientation. Instead of deciding between the five college acceptance letters, I had to decide how to break the news to my family and friends. They set high expectations, and I did not intend to disappoint anyone. But when you’re 18, a baby is a burden to others, even if you receive financial support.
Finding out that I was pregnant significantly impacted where I decided to go to school. I wanted to get away and attend a college campus out of state, but I knew my support lay here in Pittsburgh, and the wisest thing to do was stay in Pennsylvania.
During my second trimester, I caught my son’s father cheating with my friend. Even though there was high tension between us, he came with me to find out the sex of our baby. He also attended the birth of our son, but we couldn’t salvage our relationship and went our separate ways. He came around but did not help. If we didn’t get along, he wouldn’t see my son. He didn’t transition from being a couple to a co-parent. I, on the other hand, instantly jumped into mommy mode. Some days, I felt I had to remind him that he had a son!
Making it Work On My Own
I raised our son alone and with my loving grandmother’s help. I worked full-time during the day and went to school full-time at night. I took off the second semester of college to give birth and returned during the summer. Through all my hard work, I graduated on time with my class, a year after my son’s father was sentenced to life in prison.
There were a lot of things I would have done differently had I known the outcome, but when you’re young and in love, you don’t always know what you’re getting yourself into. You jump first. I was in over my head, but my heart was always in the right place. I knew I would make a great mom and wouldn’t be the person I am today without my kid.I went on to become a baker, a foster mother, and the first female mayor of Rankin. My son is the best thing I never knew that I needed.
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