My story is about forgiveness in my relationship with my ex-husband and oldest child’s father and letting go the hurts of our past. I remember having such a horrible relationship with him that I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. Once I decided I wanted peace within myself, I realized I had to allow peace within our relationship. I had to be patient, pray, and ask for the ability to extend forgiveness for what he did to hurt me during our relationship. Even after we divorced, I wanted more from him as a father to my son.
Learning to Let Go
We each expressed anger, hostility, and frustration toward each other over how we cared for our son. One day, I realized I’d had enough of fighting with him. To heal, I had to let go and let God. Once I did, we started to turn a corner. I understood he was no longer my problem and that allowing him to have so much power over me during that time was the problem.
Once I forgave myself for being so angry at my child’s father, I could be a better person in my next relationship. I knew that if I wanted more for my son, he needed to see a healthier version of me in dealing with his father, regardless of how his father treated me. I became a more peaceful person, and in this new heart space, I could interact with my child’s father in a healthier way.
Finding Peace
Now, our son is 20 years old, and we are in a much better place, with a much better relationship. We are great co-parents, because of everything we have gone through. I’m so thankful that I did not allow my anger, hate, and frustration toward my son’s father to overtake me. I’m grateful that we turned something negative into a positive, which led us to raise our son together.
Forgiveness is vital to healing in any relationship. Although you may not forget what transpired, you can still forgive. If not, you are ultimately the one who continues hurting. If you’re in a difficult situation, your circumstances may dictate whether or not you have it in your heart to forgive. But know that even if it’s not easy, it is doable to let go and let God.
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