Hey mamas! Like most people, I make resolutions when the clock strikes midnight. I anxiously enter the new year with a new set of goals. Too often, we reflect on all the things we don’t like about ourselves instead of the things we love. That list usually leaves us depressed not empowered. So this year, I decided to jot down what I’m doing right. I still made resolutions, but I just took a moment to pat myself on the back for getting through 2018.
1. Log Off the Computer
As a blogger and social media mom, I spend hours online writing, tweeting and posting messages. After dinner, I would log onto the computer and my daughter would play next to me. Then one day, she sat on my lap and typed on the keyboard. I realized that I was writing about her instead of spending time with her. I logged off the computer and pulled out Uno. We played a game, made dinner and enjoyed our quality time. Now, I write when she sleeps or when she visits her father.
2. Avoid Arguments
My daughter’s dad and I no longer discuss anything that doesn’t have to do with our daughter. We focus our attention and conversations on our little girl. Maybe one day we’ll talk about the weather, work or relationships. But for now, we stick to subjects about our child, which has avoided many arguments I’m sure. I can’t control what goes on under his roof. I just have to trust that my daughter is in good hands. We’re not perfect. Someone blows up from time to time. I did just last month! But I am learning to bite my tongue, even if I don’t like what he has to say.
3. Cut Coupons
In order to have champagne dreams on a beer budget, I shop smarter. Before buying a product, I search several websites to compare prices and look for coupons and rebates. Although I would love to buy all of my groceries at Whole Foods or through Hello Fresh, I only purchase part of my list there. Then, I complete my shopping at a chain grocery store like Aldi’s that offers a variety of organic and farmer’s market products.
4. Enjoy Free Activities
You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a lot of fun. Some of my fondest memories as a mother were made at the park near our house. There’s no entrance fee to swing, slide and run through the field. Weather permitting, I pack a dinner, and we eat at the picnic table. Most libraries host free family hours with storytellers, musicians and other entertainers. And you can even start a family book club with the moms you meet. Or in my case, article club, because I can’t remember the last time I read a book besides the Bible. Also, several baby gyms offer the first class for free.
5. Take a Spacation
In order to take care of your little one, you must first take care of yourself. For my birthday, I got a facial at a chic spa. Although I’m a single mom on a single income, I am realizing that it’s OK to invest in myself.
Now, onto the resolutions! Here’s what I’ll do new in the New Year and what some of Single Mom Defined community members plan to do in 2019!
Don’t go through the New Year alone! Join our online community. We’re discussing our 2019 goals in our Facebook group. Click here to join.
Heather
Not long ago, Heather Hopson lived in the Cayman Islands and hosted a television show. Today, she’s back home in Pittsburgh writing a different type of story as the founder of Motor Mouth Multimedia and Single Mom Defined. Utilizing more than a decade of television news reporting experience, Heather assembles teams to tell diverse stories, provide unique perspectives, and increase the visibility of important issues for local and national clients. In 2018, Heather, inspired by her daughter, produced Single Mom Defined, a photo essay and video series that provides a more accurate definition of single Black motherhood than the one society presents.
Heather obtained a BA in Journalism from Michigan State University, where she served as president of the Delta Zeta Chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.